your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
