Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize