oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
