as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
