wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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