In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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