The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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