i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I said "one day" and that day is not today
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
