Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
