explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
