kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
