I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
