I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
