Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
