I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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