six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it because I queefed?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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