I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
