The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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