You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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