another moral hangover. fuck.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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