I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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