I'm drive I can fine osifer
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
