you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So squirting runs in the family.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
