I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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