Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
