Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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