am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
