come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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