I just made out with a guy for $7.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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