Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
