My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Im part way to drunk.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
