I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
