Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
