tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
