god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
