Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
