i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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