Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
