How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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