1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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