Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
