Do vagina's smell?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
