She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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