my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
