my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You can't special order awesome
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
This is my gift to your gina
My penis needs a shock collar
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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