Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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