can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
