i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
