Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
