Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
