Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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