I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
